There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
