I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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