I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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