There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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