the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
