First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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