So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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