capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
