That's when you crack a 10am beer
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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