wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
