Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I DEMAND FORESKIN
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
