I wish I could punch you in the face.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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