normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
