I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
