so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
