I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize