You don't have asthma, your pregnant
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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