it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
