just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
