Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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