All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
