a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
