she looked like the bat from fern gully.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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