Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
