My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
