She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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