Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
