Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
