Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just blew my weed a kiss
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
