Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
