Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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