I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize