so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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