I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
