I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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