i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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