Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
