He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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