I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I could have mohawked her pubes.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
