and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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