soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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