With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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