Non-Jews are for practice
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Randomize
