apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
