Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
