It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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