I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
