I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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