Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
