its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
