We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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