goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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