ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
