please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
