chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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