Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
