I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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