I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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