Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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