piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
