I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
