So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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