actually, I'm a sock model
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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