Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
