I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Randomize
