porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I cockslap morals
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
