in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
