dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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