roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
