im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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