as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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