She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize