There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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