Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Randomize
