Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
