A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
