Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
