When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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