I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
