What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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