She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
