I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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